Haiku. Me too!
As printed in Proteus, the Journal of the Delaware Valley Mensa  (Nov 2011)
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            Last year at around this time, I was inspired to challenge myself to write haiku on just about any topic my friends could throw at me. Among other things, I learned just how hard some of my friends can throw. I tried this not only for its own sake, but also as a tribute to my HS English teacher, JTK. We always got a kick out of haiku, and he would issue this kind of challenge to himself from time to time. He passed away last May, and when his birthday approached that October, I took it upon myself to honor him by taxing my creative mind.

            As this year’s own October approached, I remembered last year’s challenge and decided to try again. I opened the floodgates to my “friends,” whose topics ranged from the everyday to the unusual, from the humorous to the ha-ha-she-should-have-known-better-than-to-ask-us. Despite and because of those suggestions, and the variety among them, I loved every intoxicating minute of this exercise. I truly believe that you would be remiss not to try at least one haiku of your own on the topic of your choice. Or, if you are masochistic, you will ask your friends for topic suggestions.

            A few selections from this year’s batch:

Shiitake mushrooms
Who’s hungry? Want some
profanity-laced fungus?
No. I bet you don't.

Step right up! Heal your
paralyzing fear of age
with botulism!
Peanut butter
Married to jelly
sneaking out with milk chocolate
two-timing bastard
Fashionable peas,
we’ve been mispronouncing you.
Let’s delete that “k.”
Don’t be sad they’re gone.
Memories will hang on like
orange residue.
Injuries on the dance floor
New salsa dance flag:
Sparkly snake with sequined scales
pleads, “Don’t tread on me!”
Overuse of epic/Misuse of literally/random
Random guy just wrote,
“Literally peed myself.”
It was SO EPIC!
Times Square
The United States’
pyrotechnic welcome mat
viewable from space
Climbed over the railing, despite the warning
sign that said don’t climb over the railing
Goodbye warning sign!
Farewell shoulder high railing!
Hello gravity.
Paper towels are
more juicy than these crackers.
And less absorbent.
The Tea Party
I dream of a world
where “Tea Party” means “Dancing
Fozzie Bear
Dodging tomatoes
with “Waka waka waka,”
Fozzie soldiers on.


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