Haiku-d See for Miles
As printed in Proteus, the Journal of the Delaware Valley Mensa  (Oct 2013)
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            I shared a special appreciation of haiku with my high school English teacher, JTK. Each fall since his passing in the spring of 2010, I have issued myself a haiku-writing challenge in his honor. The tradition centers around me asking friends to submit topic suggestions, and they never disappoint with their creativity. Some are inspired by stories in the news or online, such as “86 year old gymnast” (look it up, and watch her routine on the parallel bars) and “fork in penis” (you might not want to look that one up, but that is totally up to you). Others they pulled from my own life, as I will soon turn 40 (despite the baby face in the column photo, which is a relatively recent shot) and my Mom, whose genes I have to thank for the baby face situation, did spontaneously decide to do a 5K run/walk where strangers doused her and those around her with colored powder for no reason I can understand. Then again, I cover myself with colored powder when I use my pastels, so there you go. What topics inspire you? Write a haiku about it. Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. That’s it! Try it. Feeling adventurous? Send it to the Editor and he may print it in Proteus! Come on. I showed you mine. You show me yours.

Anthony Weiner
Anthony Weiner:
Aptly named politician
keeps us atwitter.
Sand
Soft when plentiful,
torturous when all alone
somewhere in my shoe.
Fork in Penis
Unconventional
way to communicate that,
finally, he’s done.
Hand Sanitizer
O, beloved friend.
Isopropyl alcohol,
you have changed my life!
Feet
I’ve grown quite attached
to my American feet.
No metric for me.
Mom Doing the Color Run
“Oh, look. Tomorrow
there’s a color run in town.
I think I’ll sign up!”
Stand Your Ground Laws
Florida: sunshine,
oranges, Miami Beach,
and vigilantes.
Beets, Redux
Why no beets? The sight
launches my vomit reflex.
Pretty good excuse.
Bird Poop
Noticed a cute bird
hopping. Then it dropped a load,
shook off, and hopped on.
Pictionary
How can they not see
that this masterpiece depicts
a baby fish mouth?
Old Friends
Aging’s not so bad
when you’ve got good company
along for the ride.
Bananas
Why not “strawberries?”
What did bananas do to
represent “crazy?”
Taylor Swift
Each new suitor thinks,
“Breakup songs, schmakeup songs!
Please.
I’m the exception.”
Turning 40
Bizarre how we so
disproportionately laud
multiples of ten.
Race
Despite divisions,
here – and at the finish line –
we are all human.
86 Year Old Gymnast
Dude! Seriously?
Holy crap. Did you see that?
She is my hero.
Karaoke
They don’t know the verse.
Wait, here comes the chorus. GO!
Take! These broken wings!
Introvert
Lots of attention
on introvert articles.
Is that irony?
False Teeth
Disingenuous
incisors and molars make
honest canines sad.
Guacamole
Drooling as I type
just thinking about eating
this deliciousness.
Pastels
painting with jewels
colorful dust atmosphere
through the cloud, I smile.










 





























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I shared a special appreciation of haiku with my high school English teacher, JTK. Each fall since his passing in the spring of 2010, I have issued myself a haiku-writing challenge in his honor. The tradition centers around me asking friends to submit topic suggestions, and they never disappoint with their creativity. Some are inspired by stories in the news or online, such as “86 year old gymnast” (look it up, and watch her routine on the parallel bars) and “fork in penis” (you might not want to look that one up, but that is totally up to you). Others they pulled from my own life, as I will soon turn 40 (despite the baby face in the column photo, which is a relatively recent shot) and my Mom, whose genes I have to thank for the baby face situation, did spontaneously decide to do a 5K run/walk where strangers doused her and those around her with colored powder for no reason I can understand. Then again, I cover myself with colored powder when I use my pastels, so there you go. What topics inspire you? Write a haiku about it. Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. That’s it! Try it. Feeling adventurous? Send it to the Editor and he may print it in Proteus! Come on. I showed you mine. You show me yours.